Sometimes You Just Have to Do Things That Suck

Sometimes you just have to do things that suck for no visible reward.

The older I get and the further I get into my career, the more I’m uncovering something that I think many older people already know. But this is aimed at people my age and younger.

Sometimes we have to do little or big things for what seems like absolutely no reason, or for reasons that seem stupid.

I think we as a generation are even more “no BS” compared to the generations before us.

We refuse to take disrespect.

We refuse to wait for things.

We refuse to not get paid what we think we deserve.

And honestly, some of that is probably a good thing.

The problem is that sometimes we think we deserve far more than we actually do.

We also have this tendency to act like the world is supposed to be fair.

News flash: it’s not.

Some people wake up with a trust fund. Some people wake up with 2 happy married parents. Some people are naturally more attractive, smarter, more charismatic, or just happen to be born into better circumstances.

Some people just wake up with more.

And that is not their fault.

A lot of people fall into this mindset where they resent anyone who naturally started with better circumstances.

What does that do for you?

Nothing.

There’s nothing you can do to change what somebody else started with, so why put all of your energy into being angry about it?

Not Everything Has an Immediate Payoff

I think this same mindset shows up in work too.

People want to know exactly what they're getting before they're willing to give anything extra.

Why should I stay late?

Why should I take on that project?

Why should I go out of my way for something that technically isn't my responsibility?

Why should I help somebody when I'm not getting paid extra for it?

And sometimes those are completely fair questions.

You should not let people endlessly take advantage of you. You shouldn't stay in a terrible job forever because somebody told you to “pay your dues.” There is a difference between temporarily doing something inconvenient and allowing yourself to be treated poorly.

But I also think we've gone too far in the other direction. Not everything you do is going to come with an immediate reward, and that doesn't automatically make it a waste of time.

You Can't Calculate the ROI on Everything

I think ambitious people are especially guilty of this.

We want everything to have an ROI.

If I spend 3 hours doing this, what do I get?

If I take this opportunity, how much more money will I make?

If I help this person, what can they do for me later?

That's a pretty miserable way to go through life.

Some of the best things you can do for yourself have no obvious return when you're doing them.

Helping somebody.

Learning something that doesn't immediately make you money.

Taking the harder assignment.

Showing up when it would be much easier not to.

Doing the boring part correctly even though nobody is watching.

There isn't always going to be a scoreboard telling you that you're winning.

Being Slightly Uncomfortable Is Not the Same as Being Mistreated

This is probably the distinction that matters most.

There is a difference between somebody disrespecting you and somebody asking you to do something you don't feel like doing.

There is a difference between being underpaid for years and occasionally doing more than your job description says.

There is a difference between having boundaries and using “boundaries” as an excuse to never be inconvenienced.

Sometimes things just suck.

You sit in traffic.

You work late.

You do the boring assignment.

You help somebody without knowing whether they'll ever return the favor.

You wait.

You don't get exactly what you want.

And you're fine.

Sometimes the Reward Shows Up Later

The biggest change for me has been realizing that I don't need every decision to immediately make sense on paper.

Sometimes doing the annoying thing is an investment in a relationship.

Sometimes it's an investment in your reputation.

Sometimes it's an investment in yourself.

And sometimes it really is just a stupid thing that sucked and you never get anything from it.

That's okay too.

Not every inconvenience needs to become some inspiring story about how it changed your life.

Sometimes you just do it because that's part of being an adult.

I think the people who can understand that without becoming bitter have a huge advantage.

You don't have to let people walk all over you.

You don't have to accept disrespect.

You don't have to spend your entire life “paying your dues.”

But you also can't go through life demanding an immediate reward every time you do something difficult.

Sometimes you just have to do things that suck.

And you might not find out why until much later.